I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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