Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
