Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so let's talk penis.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
