so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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