fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So squirting runs in the family.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
