is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
