Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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