i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
As shirtless as possible
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
