can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
