Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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