I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize