White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
