did you get engaged???
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
