Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
