Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
