Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
me + whiskey = a bad person
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
