You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
