Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
