what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
