Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just high enough for therapy.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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