Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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