you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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