fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
