The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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