It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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