the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
