I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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