Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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