Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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