Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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