you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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