i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
