Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
