Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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