Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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