It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
