He kissed a someone with a penis
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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