Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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