Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
