He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
