any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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