I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
