we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
