your room smells of hookers.
And success
bring money and cleavage
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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