I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
