Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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