When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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