Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
