Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
