I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize