She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
