I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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