His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
