hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
