We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
