just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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