Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
