I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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