Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
