Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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