Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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