Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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